A decision is made to stop nail biting.

That is a big deal, because it is all too easy to put that off, kick it into an unknown future date.

Fantastic.

But all of a sudden there is a massive hurry to end the habit.

Even the decision can be a bit rushed / impulsive. I get it, you have had enough; the pain shame, embarrassment and self loathing has built up to a point where you absolutely have to do something about it. Maybe there is a really compelling reason to stop that is also motivating you to take action - great, use that. You absolutely do want to get momentum and take action - this is the fuel to move you forward.

But the risk is, that if there is an underlying sense of impatience, to just get the job done - you set yourself up with:
Unrealistic timelines.
Don’t figure out what is appropriate for you, based on your patterns of biting.
Spend very little time setting yourself up for success.
Ongoing impatience for the end result and risk failing before you get there.
All or nothing thinking.
Inadequate time spent figuring out where you are when you nibble the most, what you are feeling just ahead of chewing.
Wasting money on a pile of products that you think will do the job for you. 

The who, where, what when, why.
The best way to find this out is to spend 2 weeks not changing anything and just observing yourself with your habit. Bitter tasting nail bite solution helps to raise your awareness of when your fingers are in your mouth and just how often. Where are you, who are you with, what is going on around you, can you figure out why you did this in this moment - what were you thinking or feeling? Journalling all of this.

How long have you been nail biting? Spending a few days or a couple of weeks to set yourself up to permanently stop, is such a small amount of time by comparison. Journal in a dedicated book, so you identify your triggers and patterns. Is it stress, anxiety, feeling lonely or unhappy, boredom, frustration or restlessness? A longer nail, a rough nail, your cuticles? The feel of a nail or the appearance of nails and cuticles?

It took time to identify that boredom was my primary trigger. I became aware that I nibbled in the evenings when sitting watching TV - programs that didn’t hold my attention. The other extreme was thrillers, edge of the seat suspense films, or lots of violence. In those moments I’d notice 1 nail being longer or rough - my thought was “I’ll just tidy that up” and I became aware that my next thought was “I cannot be bothered to get a nail file, I’ll just use my teeth”. Well you know what happens then - it gets rougher and shorter than the other nails, which becomes an invitation to chew them all !

So often when I suggest the exercise of taking 2 weeks to observe and create awareness, clients have a physical reaction to the suggestion - like it’s laughable to suggest this. This is always very revealing about mindset and thought process - hurry has appeared. It is the people who are prepared to take this on-board and slow down that will get to the result they want, with the least amount of drama. A classic case of the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady.

The degree to which you are in a hurry to stop nail biting, will often become the speed with which you will abandon your goal, quit on yourself and your desire to end the nail biting habit.

The second place hurry shows up is goal setting. Creating a measurable timescale and a specific goal to aim for. You don’t know if you are on track if you don’t have a specific, measurable goal. Nail biters who have spent many years biting often suddenly want to see nail regrowth at an unrealistic speed. It takes a finger nail 6-12 months to grow from cuticle to finger tip, with each nail growing at a slightly different rate.

One tip is to photograph fingers and nails once a week. This will show you the amount of growth that has actually  occurred. You build up photographic evidence of the progress your nails make week on week.

It seems to be human nature to be in a hurry. Our brain goes from one extreme to another. From 'it's impossible' to perfect nails in 2-3 weeks!

What if your long term goal is ‘I will have short nails that I am no longer biting in 90 days time’? This creates a focus that is realistic and slows our expectations down. It also allows for a slip up here and there.

The reason you are in a hurry is because you think that 'there' (that future point with the habit mastered) is better than 'here' (the place where you are doing the work). I can tell you that it is simply different. Each day will still have highs and lows. We will still have a brain that feeds us endless stories. We will still have emotions to deal with.

Hurry will show up in so many ways along this journey. Check out how much of a hurry you are in and ask yourself why.

Being in a hurry will trip you up. When you are working towards stopping a habit that has most likely been with you the majority of your life, getting a successful outcome needs a degree of awareness, planning and preparation. Take time to set yourself up for success this time. Make this the last time you ever have to go through the process of stopping nail biting. Start by letting the hurry mindset go. Open up to the experience and learn all the valuable lessons that present themselves along the way.