How many of us believe that “nail biting is a habit we have no control over”? Do you believe that this is 100% true for you - a fact?

But this is factually incorrect and here’s how I know:

A fact is something the whole world would agree with, for example gravity causes whatever is dropped to fall down. We all know about gravity and the effect on anything we drop in normal conditions.

My evidence to say the “nail biting is a habit we have no control over” statement is incorrect, is that:

I have stopped nail biting.
My clients also stop nail biting.
There are before and after photos!
A growing number of ex-nail biters now have control over the nail biting habit and no longer bite their nails.

So it is not 100% true that nail biting is a habit we have no control of - because some of us do have complete control.
If it is not 100% true and a number of us disagree with this, then “nail biting is a habit we have no control over” CANNOT be a hard fact.

We have the proof to disprove this .................. and our brain loves evidence!

Now just watch what your brain offers you / has to say in response to my sentences - it will be very revealing to you, as to how much your brain wants to hang on to the nail biting habit.

It is perhaps more accurate to say that this is a habit you THINK you have no control over. And you are not alone in having that THOUGHT. It’s a Thought I also believed for a very long time and what the nail biters I coach also Believe.

But it is a THOUGHT and not a FACT.

By the way, a Belief is simply a thought you have thought over and over.

It is probably a Belief you hold, but holding that Belief does not make it true - however it becomes your truth.

And what you believe is what you create more of in your life.

“nail biting is a habit we have no control over” is simply a STORY that your brain offers you, perhaps because you heard it said by someone else. And the important piece here is that it is a STORY you believe! 

I stopped nail biting after 50+ years of biting. Up to the moment I stopped, I consistently believed on a daily basis:

    “I didn’t know why I chew my nails”

    “I had no idea what causes an urge” or

    “Where an urge comes from” and

    “I have no idea how to deal with a full on urge.

Time and again I used the ‘resist urges and double down on willpower’ method. I failed over and over again. I tried different products, only to fail again each time, until I ended up believing that “there was something wrong with me” and that “nothing worked”.

All of these were thoughts I repeated in my mind, they ran on a continuous loop. Most of the time I didn’t even recognise that this was running through my brain - it was unconscious, unaware thinking. But these were self fulfilling and very limiting beliefs - this is what had got in the way of me being able to end my nail biting habit for 50+ years.

Then I re-trained as a Certified Life Coach. I learned all about how our brains work, especially around habits. When I applied this knowledge to my nail biting I was able to stop nail biting within 30 days. I extinguished both my desire to bite and the urge to chew completely. That was coming up on 2 years ago.

Nail biting is a habit we absolutely can end. Believing we have complete control over our actions is a big part of ending the habit. The adults I Coach also stop nail biting, I have a growing body of evidence that this is indeed very possible for other nail biters. We are not exceptions or unusual people, we are simply people who are willing to open up to the idea that what we hold as 'truth' and 'fact' might not be correct. This is the beginning of the process.

Believing you don't have any control just keeps you stuck in the habit.

Waiting for the evidence to appear before we believe we can stop is the WRONG way round.

First we need to believe we can stop nail biting and then we create the evidence for ourselves that this is true. The saying 'we will believe it only when we see it’ - it so wrong and so unhelpful. You’ve got to believe you can stop nail biting, or at the very least be open to the idea - BEFORE you start see any growth to your nails.

A new belief rarely appears overnight. It takes effort to adopt a new belief and let go of the old one.

1, recognise the beliefs you currently hold - this is harder than it seems and where a Coach really helps to speed up this process.

2, pick holes in the belief you no longer want to hang onto

3, decide you are willing to let that belief go

4, create a new belief you want to move towards - think of ladder rungs or stepping stones that move you from where you are now to that new belief.......for example:

The first rung is "It is possible I can become someone who no longer bites my nails"

then to

"I can become someone who no longer bites my nails"

then to

"I am becoming someone who no longer bites my nails"

then to

"I am someone who no longer bites my nails"

5, practise the first ladder thought everyday, several times a day until you absolutely believe it. Whenever the old thought appears or you find yourself with your fingers in your mouth practice your intentional belief. Only when you completely believe that thought do you move up to the next ladder rung thought. Repeat this daily. Repeat until you are someone who no longer bites your nails.

Our Beliefs are just 1 of the root causes that keeps us stuck in the nail biting habit. But it is a big component.

This is the work I do with clients. The belief work has to come before your result is visible. We get what we believe!

I know that the approach you have taken to ending nail biting has been based on trying to change your Actions and that's probably not worked permanently for you has it? This why you are still biting your nails.

No-one has told you that your Thoughts create your Feelings and your feelings drive your Actions until now.

All the beliefs that you may not be aware circulate in your brain daily, are part of the reason you have not been able to stop nail biting.

There is nothing wrong with you - you simply have not been taught how your brain works and the way to unlearn nail biting - until now.

Sign up for my free pdf guide to get started and learn more about the habit that you believe you cannot have any control over.