The word ‘like’ is scattered throughout the sentences people say, in the way we might have used ‘um’ when we were previously thinking of what to say next. Like has become a throw away word, a gap, a sentence space filler. Like has been devalued to the same level as ‘um’. Like has become a meaningless word. Like has very little power behind it when we hear it. It is so overused, we probably no longer hear it (unless it’s use in modern language has become annoying to you - in which case you’ll notice it every time it is repeated!?). Like is an overlooked, almost redundant word, in many aspects of daily use.

The dictionary says Like:

can be used as a request (I’d like you to stop kicking my chair),
used to politely say you want something (I’d like that loaf of sourdough bread),
or to wish to have (I’d really like to go on holiday).

We also ‘like’ (or the equivalent) people, posts, photos or comments on social media. We have been trained to use the Like button or image / icon / emoji. It’s become an automatic reaction.

But up to recent times, we would shyly admit to a friend, that we ‘liked’ someone with a view to wanting to date them. It was perhaps a precursor to using the word love, in relation to another person. We also use the words ‘like’ and ‘love’ interchangeably when it comes to food, or activities, or going to a holiday destination, that car we want to buy or a house we are thinking of purchasing. Like is still a word used in some of our most significant life events and purchases.

Like is a word that has a chequered existence in the 21st century. It is both used with power in some phrases “I’d like to buy that house’ and completely undervalued in others “she doesn’t, like, know”.

How you hear, understand, and the meaning you give to the word ‘like’ may well depend on your age? It is really important to understand that when you hear this word, the importance you give to it may be very different to the person who is speaking that word. Perhaps because the two of you in conversation are different ages. How you (the hearer) hears and they (the speaker) hears and interprets can and many times are - 2 very different things.

Language does change and evolve, it is not as static as we might think it is.

As a child I was taught the phrase:

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will do no harm”

I heard to so often I believed it. I never thought to question its source or whether it was true or not. It was what I was told by the adults in the room and I accepted it as an absolute truth. As a Life Coach I cannot emphasise enough how wrong this phrase is.

Words matter.

The words we use, hear and repeat to ourselves in our heads, really-do-matter.

There are the words used by others. The words you use out loud. AND the words you say quietly to yourself.

Our brain is always listening, whether we are conscious of what is being said or not. Sometimes when our brain is repeating very familiar, well-used phrases, within our own minds, we don’t even hear them - we are just on autopilot. But our primitive brain is on the lookout for danger - it is the equivalent of antivirus software always running in the background. Every word has meaning associated with it. Every word has power. Every word has the power to create an emotional response within us. Words can keep us stuck. Words have the power to motivate us. Words can energise and galvanise us into immediate action. Words also have the power to dis-empower us.

As a nail biter how many times do you internally whisper to yourself that you’d like to stop biting your nails? How else do you use the word ‘like’ in your everyday language? What is the meaning you give to and associate with the word like?

If you don’t associate any power to the word like - then telling yourself you’d like to stop biting your nails is NOT going to be a powerful, motivating phrase for you. But if that is your starting point to ending this habit…………how likely do you think it will be that you succeed from that phrase. If what you feel is ‘hopeful’ as your emotional response to that sentence, is that going to fuel you enough to actually stop your life long habit?

It is worth mulling this over if you are not having any success with honouring your deeper desire to stop nail biting. The words we say to ourselves are really powerful. What we say to ourselves can become a habit too. We absolutely can change our relationship with ourselves, simply by changing the language and words we say to ourselves. Check out how ‘Like’ feels to you and challenge yourself to find more powerful words to use in your vocabulary.

I’m Committed to stop biting my nails.
I’m Determined to stop biting my nails.
I have the Courage to stop biting my nails.

Find the words that feel compelling to you. Compelling enough to get you to take action. Experiment. Get playful with words. Just thinking "I’d like to" will not get you there.