Wednesday, June 21, 2023
Black and white
Right and wrong
Success or Failure
So often we tell ourselves there are only 2 ways of doing things, this OR that.
The older I get the less I see the world as offering just binary choices.
I now see the world as a spectrum. There is way more grey..........than pure black or pure white.
We tell ourselves it has to be perfect or not at all. This is rarely true. But this is what we tell ourselves time and again.
Perfectionism is over-rated.
Doing it imperfectly is the way to get anything done. Who says it has to be perfect? 'Perfect' is the wrong thinking that we were taught or picked up on, as children.
Wanting to perfectly stop nail biting is not realistic. Progress is not linear. There will be stumbles and mis-steps along the way. And that is OK, so long as we keep going. Learn, evaluate and keep going.
Imagine saying to an infant on the brink of learning to walk “you’ve got to do this perfectly or else you will stay crawling for the rest of your life”. This is in effect what we are telling ourselves when we slip up and have a nibble. To often we respond by throwing in the towel and quitting.
The people who do succeed are those who learn not to make a slip up mean anything about their ability to figure this out. They evaluate what happened. They connect to the reason they want to stop nail biting. They re-decide to stop biting. They choose to build the feeling of determination. They re-commit to ending the habit. They pick up from where they are. They get to work.
The choice is not 'perfectly done' or 'throw in the towel'. This is black or white binary thinking.
There is another way. It is messier, it's not perfect, it's greyer. It looks like slipping up, learning and keeping going. We can all do that.
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This blog:
Busts the myths that keeps nail biters stuck.
Speaks truth about our nail biting habit.
Takes a different approach based on cognitive behaviour.
I ended my 50+ year nail biting habit, after 5 decades of miserably trying and failing. I now teach and coach clients to permanently end nail biting too.
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